I thought this question had a very straightforward answer, let alone to experience it, but I found it’s not. Many years ago, while training on shamanism in the Maker tradition, one of the exercises we had was to practice how to affect an outcome. Reading the exercise looked doable, and I was so excited knowing that affecting and having the result of whatever we ‘want’ is the completeness of that desire. However, as I practiced it every day, I bumped into a realization which was a bit disappointing. It opened up for me to see that every day is very mundane, repetitive and reminded me of Groundhog Day. If we record our movements, our thoughts, and our feelings every day, they are almost the same series of movements and patterns. We are living in a never-ending cyclical pattern, sometimes it looks like a flat line. Life becomes a linear progression, from birth to death, hence written on the grave the year of birth and year of death, and the dash in between(-) is what we call life?. Perhaps 20 or 30 years ago, I dreamed of this life, where and what I am now is the outcome of all those dreams. We have so many dreams, and there is no shortage of wants and needs but as the completion of one would lead to the next and the next, there is somehow truth about the song by The Rolling Stone, (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.Is life has been set up this way? I asked one time. I know some people are okay with it, it could be because they are too busy to meet the demands of life or they feel they don’t have a choice, or could be they don’t notice that there is something not quite right with it. I can see clearly that we are living in this world where we agree to a certain degree of rules; that money is the currency that people must have to survive in a world of material consumerism. People have to want something for whatever reason for satisfaction and yes it does to a certain timeframe but nothing lasts. People keep on finding the right job and once found it does feel that you have succeeded in the quest but only to find out that after a few months or years, the work that you used to like turns into dislike. I guess anything that we want in life once it materializes give us happiness and a sense of fulfillment but it has expiry dates, even in an intimate relationship, it was once started as love but unfortunately, down the road, it turns to hate.So what do we want? Or where the ‘need’ comes from. As a practitioner of shamanism, I know that human beings are not just physical, in fact, we see physical body is only a fraction of our totality. Besides the very obvious lump of clay as they say, we have different layers of energetic bodies working in coherence and unison which affects our human physiology, health, thinking, feelings, behavior, everything, in fact in the visible form we call it human and the invisible aspect we call Being. Knowing there are two aspects of us, the human in the flesh forms that need to be fed, sheltered, clothed, and nourished. While another aspect of our totality remains to be seen, to connect, and to be remembered. I see the sign of the cross as an epitome of the truth of what it is to be human.What I’m trying to drive to this post is our complexity yet quite simple if we see the bigger truth. I have deep compassion for the misery of the entire human race as if we were played out by some powerful forces, sort of we are subject to a lab trial. In one aspect, look at social media, it’s maddening to see how emotions somehow are being manipulated by some form of big brothers out there. It feeds off an individual’s trigger whatever that person’s leanings and proclivities. Is that bad? I don’t think so as long as it gives those people the freedom and healing in the long run but the issue is, it traps people in their wants and needs more and more and people get angrier than ever, and more stress and fear ensues.The human psyche is conditioned for pleasure, I mean who wants discomfort and stress by the way? But one of the spiritual books I read a long time ago says suffering is the way to salvation or something like that. I didn’t understand that bit, it could be how religious perceived suffering and salvation, I reckoned. But hey, if the earth is a schoolroom and we humans are students, are we not supposed to progress from a kindergarten way of understanding to a more advanced like becoming a university graduate or even becoming masters?I see it this way, though. What was once interpreted as truth should be again and again interpreted in a different new light, different vision, and a heart to see the bigger picture. There is no end to our wants and needs if we can’t see that we are not just a physical body but we are much beyond it capable of performing miracles and wonders. To perform an extraordinary feat, is this not a sign of mastery of life on earth? I would very thrilled if the human race could find the way to it.Again, what do we want?We all know that we all have hearts. No one is born without a heart and no one lives without it.I see that all we want in life; is mostly material things, things that make us happy even if short-lived. We want to be surrounded by people who can make us feel safe, we want financial freedom, we want harmonious relationships intimate or not, we want stable jobs, we want to feel valued, we want our voices to be heard, etc. All these wants and needs are masking the true motivation of the deepest need and want we all have and that is finding our heart. It might not be obvious that amongst the endless lists we all have, the ultimate purpose of why we are here and now “Finding the heart.” that once was connected to the heart of the One, the Source or Universe or God, whatever you call it. It’s sad that not many people realize that at its core, what we want is our heart. No wonder the search is never ending, satisfaction is out of reach, people are in constant stress of finding something but can’t figure out what makes them truly joyful and satisfied. Eons have passed, human is still dreaming, sadly the dreams continued and end up into one’s grave. Is this the fate for us humans?What do I want. I have figured quite long time now. It’s my biggest Intent and it’s my Will that propels the path to it.Namaste
